When I was younger I would love to stay up late and watch the ridiculous and sometimes down-right silly infomercials. I grew to become a big fan of nearly everything from the SpaceBag to the Magic Bullet to the millions of different workout tapes.
I will preface the remainder of my blog with the fact that I do not watch that much television anymore, my viewing consists of DIY and SportsCenter. I used to think the reason I cut back on my television viewing was because I simply did not have the time to waste. I have now discovered why it is I do not like watching television. That reason is ... Billy Mays.
It does not matter what channel I am watching, I cannot get through one entire television show with out hearing, "Hi! Billy Mays here for [advertised product]."
His voice gives me a headache and I swear that I can still here it even when the television is muted. That overbearing enthusiasm is sickening.
Just in case you are not familiar with his work you may now him from his ... extensive ... resume.
Hi! Billy Mays here for ...
* Awesome Auger, Ground Aug, Weed Auger, and Power Extender (gardening tools)
* Big City Slider Station
* Black Swan Furniture
* Bloomin' Onion Maker
* Buddy Putty
* Calcium Lime Rust (C.L.R.)
* Currie Motors Chrysler Credit Hotline
* Cutco Kitchenware
* Ding King automotive dent remover
* Easy Off Bam!
* Energize (energy supplement)
* FixIt (car scratch remover)
* FoneFree (wireless cellphone headset)
* FreeFone (wireless phone holder)
* Gator Grip
* Gopher (reach extending tool)
* Handy Switch
* Hercules Hook (wall hangers)
* iCan Benefit Group, LLC
But wait, there's more ...
* Lint-B-Gone (lint brush)
* Liquid Diamond (car waxing product)
* Mantis Roto-Tiller
* Micro-Men Duster
* Mighty Mend It
* Mighty Putty
* Never-Scrub (tile cleaner)
* Orange Clean, Orange Glo
* Quik Strip (wire stripping tool)
* Ragazzi's Italian Restaurant and Pizzeria
* Samurai Shark (knife sharpener)
* Sandstrom OnTV
* Sealtite Tire Sealant
* Simoniz Fix It Scratch Remover
* Slider Station Burger Maker
* Steam Buddy
* Street Options Auto Accessories
* Swiffer SweeperVac
If you call right now, we'll even throw in ...
* Tommy and Rumble
* Turbo Tiger (vacuum cleaner)
* Vidalia Chop-it
* Vidalia Slice-it
* Vidalia Slice Wizard
* Zorbeez (absorbent towels)
Just pay shipping and processing. Sorry, no CODs.