It is so strange, not having to do anything unless I want to; eat whenever I want to, and what I want.
Sometimes I even forget to eat. It may be 3 p.m. in the afternoon and I finally get around to fixing some lunch. Daughter Susie left notes all around the house saying "Mom don't forget to eat."
After 63 years, it is no fun doing everything by myself. How does a person cook food for only one? And what fun is it eating by myself?
When we were younger, I looked at "old" people and thought "we have a lifetime of livin'" to do; old age is for "old" people. Down that path that we traveled, we suddenly arrived at "middle" age. I thought to myself, I can handle that, middle age is good.
Then it seemed like overnight we were on a fast track train whizzing down that path at breakneck speed and I looked around and we had arrived at the beginning of "old" age.
Where had the years gone? All of our friends were old and we were smack dab in the middle of them. I thought to myself we were too young to be "old."
But old we were and the end of our life together was fast coming to an end, I didn't think it was so close, but now in hindsight, Bob did. I can see now he did everything he possibly could to make life easier for me when he was gone.
Each day is a challenge, and with family and many friends, I shall strive to make each day count. Each morning when I wake up I think God must still have something for me to do here. I keep wondering what God has planned for me and only He knows. And in His time, he will show and tell me.
Please bear with me, friends, as I go through this time of grieving and sorrow.
Anyone out there want to share their thoughts on this grieving process?