Brenda Buehler has numerous hurdles to face during the holidays trying to provide warm and cheerful memories for her son, Gabe, 7, on a very tight budget. In addition to financial burdens, Brenda must also work around holiday schedules with Gabe's father to ensure the youth spends time with both parents. Justin Messner/Tribune Photo.

As most families across America look ahead to the stress and trials associated with the holiday season, some face an even tougher task as single parents.

Fort Scott resident and single mother Brenda Buehler, 31, is no stranger to stretching a buck. But when it comes to providing a memorable Thanksgiving and Christmas for her 7-year-old son, Gabe, finances only stretch so far.

The full time mother spent all of last year job hunting before finding a part time position at Aunt Toadies Restaurant.

"It took about a year to find this job," said Brenda. "I didn't have a job last year and I thought he wasn't going to get any presents at all."

Separated from Gabe's father, Chris Buehler, in 2005, Brenda only has one income to rely on year round. She depends on government assistance not only for Christmas expenses but for purchasing needed goods throughout the year.

"I am lucky I have food stamps," she said. "That helps with the food part of things."

As a low income family, Brenda said resourcefulness is key around the holidays.

"Presents are a big one (issue) around Christmas," said Brenda. "But, I try to teach him that you can make a gift and it is just as good as giving or getting something from the store. And, it's a lot less expensive than the latest toys."

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Young Gabe appeared indifferent as to where the presents he receives on Christmas morning came from.

"What I try to do is get him one or two big gifts," said Brenda, "and two or three little ones. Gabe is really not concerned about the number of gifts he gets. I really am blessed."

Purchasing items which can be utilized and Gabe enjoys is also important according to Brenda.

"Last year he got a backpack, that was one of his big gifts," she said. "He was excited because it had superheroes on it, plus it is something he can use."

Utilizing a great number of area programs such as Buck Run's Christmas in the Park, a free Christmas activity program, and summer passes to the Fort Scott Pool, adventure camp and cooking class, Brenda can save money to be used for holiday shopping.

Brenda said those programs "help Gabe by allowing him to experience activities that help him experience Christmas even more."

Other programs Brenda said helps her throughout the year are: the LIEAP energy assistance programs; internet programs like: mypoints.com and snapfish.com; and local businesses who offer deals year round.

"These types of things save me money so I can spend it on things other than bills," she said.

Despite the families low income status, Brenda said she does not participate in any adopt-a-child programs.

"I admit pride is a big part of it," she said. I also feel like, if I can get him one or two presents that is all he needs."

Regarding area programs designed to help residents with lower incomes, Brenda said, "I am very, very impressed with the programs that are offered here. I don't want to talk bad about anywhere else, but, Iola just does not have the assistance they have here."

On top of an already stretched budget and schedule, Brenda must also adjust her holiday plans according to the schedule Gabe's dad. Chris and Brenda split holidays with Gabe on a yearly basis. This year Gabe will spend Thanksgiving with his dad and Christmas with his mom.

"Time is always a (concern)," said Brenda. "Gabe's dad, in Iola, and I are still on good terms, so, we split when he goes where.

"I will go and get a little turkey and we'll do our own Thanksgiving before he goes up to his dad's."

Though the holiday schedules do not pose much of a concern as Chris lives about 40 minutes away, Brenda will be faced with yet another hurdle next summer when Gabe's dad moves to Tulsa.

"Next summer his dad will be moving to Tulsa and honestly I am still debating whether to stay here or move closer to him," said Brenda. "Last summer I was without a car for six months and his dad was in an accident. So, for about five weeks he could not see his dad and by the time he did see him again you could tell he needed to see him."

As if not faced with enough challenges, the majority of Brenda's family moved to San Diego last year.

"It's gonna be a little different this year," said Brenda. "For me it kind of emphisizes that it is just me."

Despite all of her reasons to be down this holiday season, Brenda simply referred to herself and her family as "blessed."

"I'm lucky in a lot of ways because of my family and friends," she said. "And he (Gabe) is getting the same ideals that it's not all about the presents. I am blessed."