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Tuesday, Jan. 17, 2017

Positive encouragement; not negative generators

Posted Monday, October 22, 2007, at 3:37 PM

Wrong behavior only gets worse when it is watered and fed.

Through the years, I have learned that there are no two children exactly alike. Since every child is different, every child learns in different ways.

Another important thing that I learned is that all children, actually all people, crave attention of some type. Some children have developed wrong actions because that is the only way they can get the attention desired. Though this is negative attention, it is attention, nonetheless. Negative attention, for some children is better than no attention at all. In a situation where a student is constantly doing the wrong things, a teacher must try desperately to find positive things, no matter how small they are, to praise the child for. That teacher or parent must show the child that he or she can get the desired attention by doing good. After a while, that student will want the positive attention instead of the negative. Teachers must become that child’s cheerleaders. Does this mean that a child will never need correction for negative behavior? No of course not. It just means that encouragement and positive attention may help to lessen the amount of behavior issues that a teacher or a parent must deal with.

These two important bits of information that I have learned through the years apply to many people and many situations. Just like with children, there are no two adults that are completely alike. All adults learn differently and function differently. This is what makes us all so special. Wouldn’t it be a boring world if we were all the same?

Again, as with children, all adults crave some type of attention. For some, it may just be the smile of a friend or loved one that gives them the encouragement to make it through a day. Others may need to hear their bosses tell them that they are doing a good job, so that they will have the confidence that it takes to do their job from day to day. Unfortunately, there are those adults who must be yelled at, written up on the job, arrested or given a traffic citation in order for them to continue to do the right things. As adults, we must learn to become each other’s cheerleaders. We must spend time encouraging each other. Since life can be extremely hard from time to time, it is helpful to have friends and loved ones who cheer us on by telling us that they believe in us.

One thing that I have noticed about our world is that sometimes people are too quick to correct the actions of other people. We are so fast at handing out that same negative attention that children get in the habit of trying to obtain. Even as adults, negative attention can be better than no attention at all. Maybe if we tried to encourage those around us, instead laying in wait for someone to mess up to jump all over that person, people would feel better about themselves. Maybe there would be less unhappiness in the world if people cheered each other on before they got to the point of needing the negative attention that raping someone or harming themselves might bring. Once the actions have gone this far, it can sometimes be too late.

I have heard many times that people in this community wonder why we don’t have more positive stories in the paper. To this, I say that the positive stories are there. I’ve written several myself about the wonderful achievements of some of our school children in town. The hard work of our own Public Works department has also been a positive topic that has been covered recently. I wonder how many people in town do not take the time to read these stories because they are too interested in the negative topics to give the positive ones any consideration. If you go to the Tribune Web site, you will notice that it is only the articles about rape, molestation and murder that receive any comments. The articles that tell about people doing good things are often overlooked and uncommented on. Why? Maybe an article about a student achieving great things would stand a greater chance of impacting that student’s life if people would comment on that article. What if that child’s community showed the student encouragement by taking the time to congratulate or encourage that student. Maybe the city workers who find themselves in an often thankless job would feel much better about the tireless work that they do everyday if local people would just say thank you once in a while.

What if we became a community of positive encouragement instead of negative generators?

Showing comments in chronological order
[Show most recent comments first]

Maybe it is because our judicial system in Fort Scott that is so unfair, and that is where we need the most attention towards making it more just. Our court system is what's making things so negative. People have no trust or faith in it anymore. They have let us, the people down.

-- Posted by forward on Tue, Oct 23, 2007, at 10:23 AM
Rayma Silvers' response:
Is it possible to encourage the positive in this town while objecting to the negative? Should we not be applauding those things that are right while objecting to those things that need to be changed? Can there not be a balance?

Thank you. My point exactly.

-- Posted by bravevoice on Tue, Oct 23, 2007, at 11:21 AM

Here's something positive:

The benefit chili feed for the premature child of one of our police officers was a huge blowout success last night!

There were so many people it was hard to find a place to park in the parking lot of Buck Run community center, and they ended up running out of food!

The local off duty police volunteered and worked in the kitchen and local church youth groups helped in the dining area. They even had live music courtesy of some PSU musicians(i think). The local citizens from every race,creed,and background contributed their money for this and the atmosphere was alive with positive energy, and peace. The spirit of generosity was everywhere.

You had to be there to witness the spirit of the event that I am having trouble adequately describing in print.

I've been to many fundraisers and have hosted and volunteered for quite a few also. This one was successful in every way!

-- Posted by like2b_onree on Fri, Oct 26, 2007, at 1:43 PM

I love your blogs, I read every one of them. A lovely spirit shines through them. People are not inclined to "comment" after a positive report, they are more inclined to smile to themselves, and maybe mention it to the person mentioned. I once heard that "when you have a terrible toothache, it is difficult to complement people, you are zeroed in on relieving the toothache." When a story is printed about people accused of rape, and there are so many of these such stories in Ft. Scott, I think it causes a toothache in people. They fear. They fear it might happen to them (a false accusation). They fear that the justice system in ft. scott may not be a fair and just one. They fear what would happen if one of their loved ones were accused. They know that in this day of "Jessica's Law" the only thing it takes to ruin a man's life, is an uttered accusation by a female. They have noticed that the prosecutor is not fair or just, that she does not investigate the "truth" but goes after the longest sentence she can get, and they wonder about her motive. Then, they see that some of the wealthier accused, get 48 hours, and they fear injustice. Often, when Michael Glover was here, the newspaper report came straight from the words of the prosecutor's report, since there was no other report by the defense attorney, and people see through this. They comment because they are upset. Some people are bitter, and like to see the pain of someone else being treated badly, so they comment how happy they are to see this tragedy befall this person. I am glad you have the comment section, it makes for a more balanced piece of written material.

-- Posted by look closer on Sun, Dec 16, 2007, at 12:41 PM

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