Two weekends ago I went to a pool party at a friend's house and lost my engagement ring! The pool is a saltwater pool and during my first few minutes in the pool I commented on how much more slippery things were, but didn't really give it a thought after that.

I roughed around with Heather and the other kids for about three hours before getting out to put a shirt on real quick so I could begin the adult swim time and the very heated game of volleyball. All in all I was in the water about five hours before some subconscious urge made me feel for my ring.

Immediately I panicked and halted the game. It was about 8 p.m. but everyone started to feel around the bottom of the pool for my ring. The pool is lighted so it helped a bit but we never found it.

For a while I was calm, but eventually things started to set in and I began to realize exactly what I'd lost. I got out and started to cry. Not a soft, polite, lady like cry. It was a great big bawling, hiccupping, sniffling mess. Tony was amazing, never making me feel guiltier and never fussing at me. But I just kept on crying.

The next day we went back and looked in the daylight but we didn't find it then either. We checked the drains and everything but the holes are too small for my ring to have been able to slip through. We looked around the pool thinking maybe it been thrown off during a volleyball serve or something, but still nothing.

The following Monday I got to work and began telling a friend about the whole ordeal and she called her husband immediately and asked him to bring their metal detector to work. I admit my hopes began to soar, but unfortunately the metal detector simply wouldn't find the lost ring. It could possibly be a strength issue, but who knows at this point. Several people have mentioned that I could rent one and it might be a stronger detector, but I don't know if I can stand the disappointment a second time.

When I don't go searching for it I'm fairly ok. It's an out-of-sight, out-of-mind kind of thing. But the minute I start looking for it, I get so positive that we are going to find it. Literally I'm saying the phrase "I found my ring" over and over again in my head. Tony says that's my problem. I'm too optimistic! He says I should be negative, so when I don't find the ring, I'm not crushed. But what kind of life is that? Always expecting the worst so when it happens it's not a shock, but if something good happens it's a pleasant surprise? That's just not me!

So, at this point I'm not sure what to do next. One family member of mine told me, "I know you're sad about the ring, but just remember, it's a ring you lost, not Tony". That piece of advice has been what I fall back on when I feel myself getting more and more depressed about the loss. Of course I hope I find the ring, but at least I still have him. And that's something to definitely be positive about!