Recently I'd made a road trip to Indiana with my fiancé, his daughter and one of my best friends. My friend and I had been asked to be bridesmaids in one of our oldest friends weddings. Initially I thought I'd write something about the trip, or the wedding or tell some story that would make everyone laugh or at least smile wistfully. However, that is not what's on my heart or in my head to write about.

While in Indiana I noticed some behavior between the soon to be Mr. and Mrs. that was vaguely familiar. It took me awhile to pin point what made me notice certain looks and attitudes. Finally when I made it home and had a night of calm I started to put the pieces together. I was noticing similarities between her life and my own. I was seeing the way her fiancé reacted to us, and to family and to her general behavior. Let me tell you it was like watching my own fiancé a couple years ago when he was put into a similar situation.

The situation I'm referring to is when you begin to introduce your significant other to your friends and family. I never thought much about the way I act around long time friends or family, but having been with my fiancé for seven years, I can definitely see what he had been trying to tell me. And I can see what my friend's fiancé was experiencing, but probably not acknowledging.

It's not that I am acting with either group of people; I just have a different closeness with different people. For instance, with my brother's girlfriend, my friends from high school, or even my fiancé's daughter, I can be…..well, I can be a dork! Something I don't hide from Tony, but something I try not to overdue since I know it annoys him.

In Indiana I didn't think about the way our friend was acting towards us, because it was normal. Since grade school this girl has been exactly the way she was that weekend. Fun, sweet and easily amused! And personally I think that's why she likes me so much. I'm a goofball that makes her laugh! Anyway, I'm not saying she isn't that way in her day-to-day life when we are not there. But there is a difference!

I wonder why we seem to put on different faces and attitudes depending on whom we are with. Part of me says we, (or at least I), do it to make our significant other happy. For instance me acting like a dork with Tony. I know my singing Jingle Bells in the Wal-Mart parking lot in June embarrasses him and that such behavior is likely to spark a lecture. Or at the very least, it is likely to spark him walking in the other direction and pretending he doesn't know who I am.

It gets especially bad when you live away from who you grew up with, and all you have is that one special person you've fallen in love with. When he/she is all you have there, that person only see's one side of you. And they get comfortable with that; they begin to think that's all you are. And it's not until you merge your old and your new life together, that eyebrows raise and questions are asked.

I keep talking about the guy or gal in our lives being upset, but friends notice things to. One too many times I've heard from friends, "Is that Layne talking or are you channeling Tony's spirit?" when I've been going on and on about fiscal responsibility or something. They know I'd rather buy a pair of shoes instead of open a savings account. Yet when Tony and I have been talking about money repeatedly, my friends then are the ones to see a different side of me.

And while I've started to ramble a bit here I do have a point to make.

When I left Indiana, I left my friend a note, and part of it said, "Be sure to love each other for who they are, and not who you might want them to be". And that is the best advice I can give to anyone. It's not always easy. Goodness knows I'm not an expert at it, but its a good rule of thumb don't you think? As a matter of fact, I think that's the reason I needed to write this blog today. I needed to remind myself of that little tidbit of wisdom.

Mental note made.