I just want to send out a big heart-felt thank you to all of the snotty customer service representatives that I've had to deal with in the last few weeks that have just managed to make my day crap.

Seriously, I think they must now be training customer service reps how to be real jerks. Let's break down the person who already doesn't have the money to pay the bill, then really twist the knife, maybe pour a little salt in it. I mean there's no way that their job can be complete unless the person they are speaking to is crying or yelling, right?

I worked as a customer service rep in college. I must have missed these valuable training sessions.

I understand it's their job to call and "attempt to collect the debt" (albeit it's a crappy job and I'm still unsure why anyone would want it. I didn't last long at it. I have a real problem trying to convince people for their money when they obviously don't have it.)

I don't even mind that they call and remind me that I need to make a payment. If you have something like a car, or you use something, like a credit card, then you should pay for it. It's logical. But here's the thing -- if I had the money, don't you think I would have made the payment? I'm sure not everyone is responsible with their money and may just not pay for things. I'm not one of those people. Seriously, I'm the mom (and was the single mom until just recently) with my head down over a pile of past due bills, stressing over how to make each paycheck stretch. I'm not running wild at the casinos or going on wild shopping sprees. Let's face it people, if I have to choose, my kid is getting fed and the lights are staying on.

You probably know how the drill usually goes. You get the call. They verify who you are and then they say it, "this is an attempt to collect a debt and this conversation may be recorded." (I wonder what they do with those recorded conversations. I bet some of the bosses sit around after hours and listen to them for entertainment. I can't imagine anyone learns from them.) Then the haggling begins.

Customer Service Rep Training Tip #1: The person you are talking to can magically pull the money they owe you out of their…

I love when the reps start talking to me like they know me, my situation and my financial logic. I had a doozy of a call recently. The rep was calling for a payment for my car. I told her when my next check was and that I would then call the company with what I could do after I went over finances with my husband. She actually told me "that is unacceptable."

Customer Service Rep Training Tip #2: You know everything about that irresponsible, money spending person on the other end. Really give it to them good!

I scoffed at her reply. She told me that the situation was not funny. (Boy was she telling me. Why would I think not being able to pay my bills is funny?) She then proceeds to lecture me on how I should be paying for the car if I'm driving it and how I'm only upset because I don't like that she's telling me that I should pay my bills. So now she is my mother (not that my mother acts like that!) and she's a mind reader.

Customer Service Rep Training Tip #3: The person you are talking to does not have any rights or feelings. Never, ever, let them talk to a manager or get you in trouble.

I didn't really have it in me to argue with her anymore. So I told her that I wanted to speak to a manager. Well, that's not going to happen. She won't give me her name (they have to give a first name), and she won't give me a manger (they have to give you to a manager if you request it). I tell her she has exactly five seconds to give me one or the other or I will hang up and call back and get a manager. So she hangs up on me. So I call back and talk to a second customer service rep. I get sent to a manager's voice mail. I never get a call back from the manager. Anyone surprised? I wasn't.

Customer Service Rep Training Tip #4: Keep calling. You'll get the answer you want eventually.

The company doesn't like my answer, so they start calling my husband. He tells them the same thing I tell them. They continue to call.

Hey guys, knock yourself out.

The other doozy of a call that I got was yesterday. I frankly couldn't believe how unprofessional this guy was. I told him what I could do. Again, he told me that wasn't one of the choices that I had. I don't get it. If they say, "that's unacceptable" or "no, you can't do that" am I supposed to say, "Oh, I understand, let me come up with amount that you need, here I'll just write a check!"

Customer Service Rep Training Tip #5: The person you are trying to collect the debt from is stupid. Scare the dickens out of them. It will be easy.

After I have established with this guy what I can do and he has established how that is not good enough, he proceeds to tell me the evil, world-ending repercussions that will befall me if I don't pay up (which I'm not making light of because they are bad and no laughing matter, but as I can only do what I can do, they will probably happen anyway). I tell him that I understand, but that doesn't change my situation, I can still only do what I can do.

Customer Service Rep Training Tip #6: Repeat, repeat, repeat. If you beat the point to death, you will get what you want.

He continues to tell me about the bad things that will take place. He starts to get a little attitude in his voice. Finally I ask him, "How many times do you think you need to tell me before I understand?" That was apparently the wrong thing to say. I tell him that I don't really appreciate how rude he's being, is there someone else I can talk to? That was also apparently the wrong thing to say.

Customer Service Rep Training Tip #7: The person you are talking to is always wrong. It's ok to argue with them for as long as you can. If you can't win the argument, no need to be nice, just hang up!

Arguing pursues. Then - here's the kicker -- he yells over me as I'm talking, yes yells, "YOU CAN HANG UP THE PHONE NOW BEERBOWER!" Ok, rude, unprofessional, and let's face it, just downright mean. We are adults, right. That was like a flashback to the playground. So I smart off, "My last name isn't Beerbower. I think I just told you that I got married." And then he said (I almost can't type it without laughing -- I definitely couldn't retell it without laughing) "Well it should be!" Wow. Good one. You got me there. What was that actually supposed to mean?

I wonder why they are called "customer service" representatives? I can think of a lot of other things to call them, none that I can print here. I don't really see them servicing the customer very often.

Don't get me wrong. There are good customer service representatives. Just like there are snakes that don't bite. I actually dealt with the nicest guy the other day. And I told him so. I really appreciated how genuinely nice he was when speaking with me and working through the issue with me (yes with me, not at me). I guess it's just common sense to me. I never got anything from anyone by trying to beat it out of them. Being nice goes a long way. Maybe they should teach that in customer service representative school.

As for my finances, I'm doing the best I can. The rest I leave in God's hands. I'd like to see them talk to Him like that.